Remember that 80’s song by The Temptations – “Treat her like a lady”. Yip that one with the catchy beat that you can sing along to whilst doing the dishes or sitting in your car. Ok, so perhaps you millennials won’t know the song but you can go Google it here.
The point I’m getting at is that the lyrics of the song resonates with me as I have a chivalrous husband. Common courtesy, kindness and respect are things women crave for in today’s life. Values and convictions are guided by an ever changing world and what society prescribes. But shaping attitudes, beliefs and values at the foundation level will ensure that it is carried throughout life. It should be both men and women’s responsibility to raise children who respect themselves and others. Most importantly shifting our focus to raising boys. Chivalry, honour and respect has to be taught from a young age.
When your child doesn’t look their age.
It did not surprise me when my daughter gave a sarcastic response of “I might not look like a nine-year old to you; but I am – okay”.
This was in reply to a family member’s comment on her size that does not match her age. If I said this was the first time such a comment was made, I would be lying. It happens all the time. Uninvited comments from strangers, family and friends. (more…)
Not too long ago, I mentioned to my husband that it is time to have the puberty talk with our eldest daughter. I kind of joked with him and asked if he would like to have the honour of performing this duty. He just raised an eyebrow and said “rather you than me”.
The thing is I didn’t expect him to jump for joy when I made this gesture. Although there are many fathers who feel completely comfortable in having this conversation with their daughters; and I’m pretty sure that my husband would’ve done an excellent job at it by giving our daughter the basic information. But the thing is he has never in his life experienced ovulation, period pains, PMS or went through child birth. Outnumbered by females; I can’t help but feel sorry for the guy as the odds are against him. Soon he will have to deal with a house full of hormonal females. I can however say with certainty that as a father he will give our daughters all the support they need including purchasing sanitary pads or tampons. (more…)
Going back to school after the summer vacation can be tough on certain kids. The transition from vacation to school is not always smooth sailing during the first or even second week of the new school term. Not all kids are super excited to start school. One of those kids is my youngest daughter, Mika. School is not her favourite place to look forward to after a fun-filled holiday break. In fact, she wish to be home-schooled as she stressed this to us repeatedly. Unlike Lea (my other daughter) who is always eager for the new school year to start; Mika is not so enthusiastic.
For the past three years, since starting Grade 1, Mika has been experiencing back-to-school anxiety. She would get physically ill. Her blood pressure would drop resulting in dizziness, vomiting and complaints of headaches and stomach cramps. But we always insisted on school attendance and only in severe cases would keep her home. Usually by the second week of the new school year, she has settled in and all is forgotten. (more…)
From the age of six both my daughters have been receiving invitations for sleepover parties. With the kids being older, sleepover requests are still streaming in. Our stance on this is – we simply do not allow sleepovers at friends.
Before I continue, sleepover exceptions include staying over at their grandparents and cousins, go on school camps and for the first time this year my eldest daughter went to a one-night group sleepover at school. As for the group sleepover at school; our kids attend an all girls school and the sleepover is a social event organised for a specific grade. Well supervised by female teachers, they have a programme of activities lined up for the girls and they all sleep in the school hall that is secured.
My daughter, Lea is in such a happy mood this morning. Hopping, skipping and singing at the top of her voice. It’s her birthday and she has been waiting for this day to arrive with eager anticipation. I watch her and smile. There is so much love that is booming at the moment. A love that is eternal and unmeasurable.
As I watch her, an exhilarating feeling comes over me. This child made me a mother. Knowing that my husband and I made this human, and that she is half mine and his DNA. Like my kids will always say “we are the best thing that ever happened to the two of you.”
And they are spot on, they are the best thing that ever happened to us. Knowing what we know now, life without them would be pretty dull.
Let’s face it we all tell little white lies now and then. Whether it is to protect our children or not to harm someone else’s feelings – we do it.
But what happens if the lies are constant … more like compulsive lying.
Even worse what if it’s a child that is constantly lying about everything and anything. You would assume that children are naturally truthful. Well so you would think, turns out it is not the case.
Today my daughter came home from school pretty devastated. She and her friends are at wits end with one particular friend’s lies.
So when your child comes home and vents her anger and frustration about the current situation – you listen.
Avoid raising a self-centred child and stop indulging a sense of entitlement at home
Raising a child in the 21st century is not easy. Especially with the constant demands that society place on us. Falling into the entitlement trap can happen so easily. Perhaps you have been oblivious to the fact that you are already in that trap and didn’t see it coming.
As you read the following points listed, think about whether one or even more of these are familiar to you.
There is no greater love than that of a mother to her child or children. Now this might sound cheesy and like an old cliché but you do know that the best Mother’s Day gift I received was the day the two of you were born.
With Mother’s Day a couple of days away, I’m sure that you are stressing about what to get me. Or should I say you are hounding your father to come up with a plan and be your financial resource. The latter I don’t mind but this needs to come from the two of you. As I did not birth your father and I am by no means his mother. By the way, he is just as clueless when it comes to knowing exactly what I want.
It’s about 14h00 on Saturday afternoon as my husband and I walk into the supermarket to get some much needed items. We see a mom with 3 kids as we enter the store. Looking at their size, I’m of the opinion that the kids could be all under the age of 5. With the youngest sitting in the trolley. The mom squats down to the level of the two older ones, indicating to them to behave. Her tone is calm and she looks relaxed.
Whilst in the shop, I spot the mom and her three kids again, this time in the toiletries aisle. The youngest is having a meltdown and the other two is acting out. Kicking each other, shouting and running about. Once again she gathers them and instructs them to behave.
This time she looks a bit flustered but still seems calm. Flustered because of the embarrassment she felt at that particular moment as people started staring and scrutinizing her ability to handle the situation.