• A message to the unapologetic narcissist

    message unapologetic narcissist

    I spot you everywhere. In the workplace, church, parent groups, in the company of friends and family. Some people cannot handle you. They try to avoid you like the plague.  Perhaps you are not aware of this or that you are a narcissist.  Do you even know what it means?

    Let me enlighten you.

    You are that person who thinks you are superior and see no one as your equal. Compared to others, you view yourself differently – more important.  Similarly, your ego, status and titles are everything to you. You strive for perfection and constantly boast about yourself and what you possess.

    In the beginning you are very charming and persuasive, putting up a facade to lure people into your space. Once you have gained their trust, you become domineering. Making it difficult for them to distance themselves from you.

    When someone else have something to say; you get impatient. Quite often you show no interest and would quickly change the topic and talk about yourself. Always interrupting others who are still talking.  You verbalize your opinions forcefully; in other words you will dominate the conversation in every aspect.

    You think you know it all and would disregard someone else’s opinion. Talking down to people in an insulting condescending way comes second nature to you. Causing people to feel degraded, small and worse about themselves. You have that ability to instantly silence those around you. It is impossible for you to see someone else’s perspective.

    Losing is never an option and you crave to win at all times – therefore making you highly competitive. You thrive to be in control and do not care what it takes to get what you want. In doing so, you break the rules, manipulate, lie and bully to get the upper hand. On the rare occasion when you do lose, you find it difficult to congratulate the next person on their achievements or to give a compliment.

    You constantly seek praise, attention and special treatment. When things don’t go according to your plan, you complain. Often playing the victim and feeling self-pity. Keeping score of everyone else’s wrong-doings but never acknowledging your own faults and shortcomings.

    If you are called out or challenged on your actions; you feel intimidated and will immediately go in defensive mode. Sensitive to criticism; all of which indicates that you want to dish it out but can’t take it. When this happens, you feel offended and will always blame others. Provoking you to go on the attack by resenting, getting verbally abusive and spreading bad rumours about those who double crossed you. In addition, you don’t forget and will never forgive; instead you will exploit and seek revenge.

    Taking responsibility and admitting to your wrong-doings by apologising for your actions does not exist in your world. You show absolutely no remorse and will always justify your actions.

    You prey on other people’s vulnerabilities. Never showing empathy towards those who are hurting around you, on the contrary you will capitalise on it.

    People tell you what you want to hear instead of what they truly feel.  In fear that you will get rubbed up the wrong way.

    Sharing your knowledge or showing kindness to others is not something you do; however if you do give to others; you always do it to benefit yourself. In other words, you expect something in return.

    As you have noticed, no positive character traits were written about you. It is a shame, as I always see some good in everyone.

    It saddens me that those who choose to stay in a close relationship with you, are your victims. You hurt and damage those around you emotionally and psychologically with your spoken words and in some instances physical actions. Honestly, I don’t know how they can tolerate the abuse as it is clear that you hold the power and are pulling the strings.

    As for myself, I keep my distance but can see what you are doing to others.  In fact, I actually feel sorry for you as you have a very low self-esteem and need to cover it up with this narcissist mask.

    Perhaps you will never change and will continue to be selfish, manipulative and malicious; inflicting pain on those around you. Eventually those who are currently your victims will grow tired, they will have enough and leave.  At the end, you will look in the mirror and all you will see is a person who is self-centered but yet very lonely.

    In conclusion, I don’t know how you became like this – perhaps you were once a victim at the hand of a bully or abuser.  However, you desperately need psychological help. You might seem untouchable now but just remember that “Karma” gives you back what you give to others.

    19 Comments

    1. February 21, 2019 / 10:09 pm

      Argh, narcissists must fall, they’re the worst! Thanks for writing this piece ❤️

      • Noleen Miller
        Author
        February 22, 2019 / 10:05 am

        I suppose you get all kinds of people in this world. But we should never allow them to have the upper hand over us.

    2. February 25, 2019 / 8:28 am

      Did you send it to them? We all know one or two…

      • Noleen Miller
        Author
        February 25, 2019 / 9:10 am

        I did indeed but it is obvious that they are oblivious to the fact that their actions are hurting others as no comments were made.

    3. February 25, 2019 / 9:08 am

      Ooh I know a few people who fall into this category. I do think they get what they deserve as they have no real friends!

      #GlobalBlogging

      • Noleen Miller
        Author
        February 25, 2019 / 9:11 am

        They are actually very lonely people and this behaviour is used to cover up those insecurities #globalblogging.

    4. February 25, 2019 / 1:14 pm

      I think your last comments sum it up, surely someone this awful must have a problem that needs sorting. As I read through your post all I could see were description from all the books I’ve read on severe mental health conditions. It’s very sad. #globalblogging

    5. February 25, 2019 / 4:26 pm

      I had to read this because I’m pretty sure someone in my life fits this category. Thanks for the insight. Visiting you from the global blogging link up. laurensparks.net

    6. February 25, 2019 / 4:34 pm

      One of the things about narcissists is people think they couldn’t possibly succeed in life or become president of the world’s greatest democracy … oh, oh! #GlobalBlogging

    7. February 25, 2019 / 4:58 pm

      I have experience of a narc. Theyre awful people! Great post lovely!

    8. February 27, 2019 / 12:38 am

      I know of several people like this. I think the key is recognising it and leaving them to it #TwinklyTuesday

    9. February 27, 2019 / 12:24 pm

      You are word-for-word describing my mother-in-law. And like you I have learned to keep my distance from her. She has made it impossible to be around her. Great piece #dreamteam

    10. February 27, 2019 / 2:50 pm

      I think I may live with one. I also think he may end up very lonely one day. He never talks of his childhood so perhaps there are reasons why he is as he is. Powerful post for sure #TwinklyTuesday

    11. Anita Faulkner - Brazen Mummy Writes
      February 27, 2019 / 9:54 pm

      Oh dear. I was wondering if the people you know will be getting paranoid, but I see one of your replies says the person in question hasn’t even noticed. Typical! At least you can see it for what it is. #twinklytuesday

    12. March 3, 2019 / 8:58 am

      The worst part of a narcissist is that even if they seek professional help, they think they are smarter and refuse to listen. Ugh. #GlobalBlogging

    13. March 4, 2019 / 1:59 pm

      I think everyone knows a narcissist and they’re the worst kind of people I think! Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back tomorrow.

    14. March 4, 2019 / 4:11 pm

      Unfortunately I think we all know someone like this and they’re usually oblivious to how their actions impact others. Thanks for sharing and linking up #twinklytuesday

    15. March 4, 2019 / 11:19 pm

      Thanks for sharing withe the #DreamTeam This had me recalling someone I became friends with only to realise later that they had serious issues!

    16. March 9, 2019 / 4:30 pm

      I was raised by one of them. It was not a good experience. That’s putting it nicely. I have met several in my lifetime and can spot them thanks to the person who raised me. I guess I can turn that into a positive. #GlobalBlogging (I am a bit late on this linky, I am sorry)

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