• Supermarket tantrums: Sometimes it’s best to keep your opinions to yourself, stay in your lane and mind your own business.

    supermarket tantrums best keep opinions stay lane mind business

    It’s about 14h00 on Saturday afternoon as my husband and I walk into the supermarket to get some much needed items.  We see a mom with 3 kids as we enter the store. Looking at their size, I’m of the opinion that the kids could be all under the age of 5. With the youngest sitting in the trolley. The mom squats down to the level of the two older ones, indicating to them to behave. Her tone is calm and she looks relaxed.

    Whilst in the shop, I spot the mom and her three kids again, this time in the toiletries aisle. The youngest is having a meltdown and the other two is acting out. Kicking each other, shouting and running about. Once again she gathers them and instructs them to behave.

    This time she looks a bit flustered but still seems calm. Flustered because of the embarrassment she felt at that particular moment as people started staring and scrutinizing her ability to handle the situation.

    As I walk pass, I give her a smile.

    I have empathy for this mom as I know exactly what she’s going through. I’ve been there with my own kids when they were small. Thinking that I can master a quick trip to the supermarket with two small kids who are tired, cranky and just out of control.

    Yes, I made the wrong call to take them with to the shop but I had no choice as I had no one to leave them with. Perhaps she too had no one to look after her kids and had to bring them along. I know all too well how people judge with their looks and thoughts – just control your kids.  Before I became a mom, I was one of those people.

    Then as we are standing in the line heading towards the till, I notice the mom at till number 5. This time she looked tired. Between unpacking the groceries from the trolley onto the till conveyor belt, realising that she forgot to add a few grocery items to the trolley, listening to what the cashier is saying, searching for her bank card in her purse and the whining of her kids; it all surpassed her ability to cope.

    Overwhelmed by the stress of the current situation, she had enough. They tested her patience.

    In a frustrated, stern and loud voice she reprimanded her kids: “Enough! I told you how many times to stop this behaviour. We will not go to the park

    Unaware that she is causing a scene, and that people are staring at her. She continues to unpack the groceries. Her kids were quiet.

    That’s not cool to speak to your kids like that” a voice comes from behind the line. It’s a young mom holding what I suspect a 6 month old baby. This young mom felt that it was her business to intervene.

    Then the mom with the three kids turned around, looked at the young mom in disbelief and said in a sarcastic voice: “I think I know how to raise my kids; thank you very much

    An awkward atmosphere descended on the already long line. My husband turns to me and whispers: “If everyone just minded their own business the world would not be such a complicated place

    Here’s the thing…
    • Don’t meddle, stay in your own lane and mind your own business.
    • Think before you speak.
    • Only give advice when asked for it.
    • Belittling the mom in front of her kids and others are not cool. It just attracts attention to yourself and the situation.
    • Don’t pass judgement as you don’t know that mom’s situation.
    • Reprimanding her kids in a supermarket does not make her a bad mom.
    • Even after setting clear expectations and consequences – they still didn’t listen.
    • You don’t know the kids.  Were they overstimulated, tired, do they have ADHD, are they autistic?
    • Perhaps she’s a mom who normally has everything under control and this time her normal strategy failed.

    Point is, we should stop judging and have more compassion. After all she’s just a mom trying her best to control a supermarket tantrum.

    PS! To the young mom, I really hope that you will be able to handle the situation when your now 6 month old becomes a toddler and acts out in a supermarket.


    1. April 25, 2018 / 12:03 pm

      This is why I rarely leave the house with my 3….especially my youngest. He is a menace…no excuses. lol.Maybe I was that mom with 3 kids looking flustered. ha ha That being said…I don’t care who is looking and what they have to say. my monkeys, my circus…mind your own business. Great post!

      • Noleen Miller
        April 25, 2018 / 1:44 pm

        I tell you some people just don’t know there place when it comes to staying out of other people’s business. Like you said your kids, your style of parenting, your business – each to their own.

    2. April 25, 2018 / 1:34 pm

      Nooooooooooooo!!!! You just don’t do that. Whatever is going on in your head, you just don’t …

      • Noleen Miller
        April 25, 2018 / 1:44 pm

        I know but that’s what happens.

    3. April 25, 2018 / 8:10 pm

      This happens so much more than is really necessary and is absolutely sad. Instead of supporting one another we shame and judge! I’ve left with my two and although they are two very different ages, they are difficult to manage. Hell even my toddler alone is a tough one to manage…

      • Noleen Miller
        April 26, 2018 / 10:21 am

        I know even with my kids being 11 and 8 – they still drive me insane sometimes and I think as a parent we have the right to put them on their place if they stepping out of line. My business an no one elses.

    4. April 26, 2018 / 9:17 pm

      I have been here a few times, I hate it when people mutter something totally unhelpful under the breathe, if I didn’t have the child I would tell them to f*** off. X #bloggersbest

      • Noleen Miller
        May 2, 2018 / 11:51 am

        Totally agree

    5. May 1, 2018 / 9:59 am

      Yep, spot on! I’m baffled that another Mum saw fit to comment on another parent’s kids! It shows inexperience. I guarantee you that at some point in the future, when she is at the checkout dealing with a tantruming toddler she will remember that day and feel rather embarrased!

      • Noleen Miller
        May 2, 2018 / 11:45 am

        Well I hope so – they don’t stay so small and sweet for the rest of their lives. The tantrum phase will still set in and I hope she can handle it.

    6. May 1, 2018 / 10:42 am

      Oh my gosh, is there anything worse than the judgy looks from other people? Especially when them other people are parents too, and acting all superior as if their child never misbehaved before. They could offer a knowing sympathetic smile, in some sort of parent to parent solidarity, instead of a judgy look or comment that only makes the situation worse. I try to avoid taking my daughter shopping with me but if I have to and she acts up I just try to ignore the judgy looks. X #TriumphantTales

      • Noleen Miller
        May 2, 2018 / 11:44 am

        I know – I’ve experienced it with my own kids. Many a times I wanted to dig a hole and crawl in it. But hey we all go through it and as our kids grow older they grow out of the tantrum phase. It’s just so annoying knowing that someone is judging you for your actions in trying to bring the situation under control.

    7. Very sound advice, I couldn’t have said it better myself! Why people think it’s ok to comment on other peoples parenting is still beyond me! I’d never do it unless asked, and even then sometimes I hold back what I’m really thinking! Good luck to all parents everywhere who are off to the supermarket with young children! #itsok

      • Noleen Miller
        May 2, 2018 / 11:41 am

        I think people should stop and think before saying anything. Stay clear and mind your own business period. Parenting is one of the toughest jobs and to be judged by a fellow parent is the worst.#itsok

    8. May 1, 2018 / 7:25 pm

      Trouble is, the people who do pipe up are often the ones that aren’t speaking from experience who think they know better. Joys hey. Thanks for linking up to #fortheloveofBLOG x

      • Noleen Miller
        May 2, 2018 / 11:39 am

        So true. Hoping that one day she will realise that it is not all sunshine and roses when trying your utmost to raise kids.

    9. May 1, 2018 / 10:00 pm

      I can’t believe another mum would have the nerve to comment. Once her kid gets older though, I’m guessing she will look back and realise how naive she had been!! #itsok

      • Noleen Miller
        May 2, 2018 / 11:34 am

        It is always the case that we are judged my other moms – which is sad cause we actually need their support instead of judgment.

    10. May 2, 2018 / 11:47 am

      OMG! I can’t believe that. How awful. Just mind your own business people! Thank you for sharing with #StayClassymama

      • Noleen Miller
        May 2, 2018 / 12:16 pm

        Yip it happens out there – judgment being passed and what is so sad it comes from other moms #stayclassymama

    11. May 2, 2018 / 10:27 pm

      I was told off by an ‘expert’ in a charity shop once when my eldest had a tantrum. I was shaking with anger and humiliation. We know our own children best, noone else has the knowledge to get involved. #stayclassymama

    12. May 4, 2018 / 1:43 am

      Unless someone is abusing their kids, I agree wholeheartedly! The last thing that mother needed was strangers judging her and openly criticizing her in front of her children. #GlobalBlogging

    13. May 7, 2018 / 9:49 pm

      I’ve had stares and mumbles from people when my toddler decided to throw himself to the floor in the shop, I’ve never forgotten how it felt. We all have no idea about other people’s circumstances, the young mum in your scenario will be in for a shock when the toddler years appear! You’ve hit the nail on the head there. Great post! Thank you for linking up to the #itsok linky.

    14. May 7, 2018 / 10:10 pm

      I agree! The world could use more compassion on all fronts. Life is so complicated, and there’s no way to know what someone is going through. Extra compassion is always a good move. 🙂 #blogcrush

    15. May 10, 2018 / 8:42 pm

      Oh gosh, it’s so easy to judge isn’t it, but I do wish people would give others the benefit of the doubt. I do believe in speaking up if there’s a concern over the children’s safety but otherwise – don’t tell people how to parent! #BlogCrush

      • Noleen Miller
        May 15, 2018 / 10:17 am

        Agree when safety is a concern then I think as citizen we need to step in and help or give our advise but not judge parents who is trying their best to control their children’s tantrums #blogcrush

    Leave a Reply