happily 14 years marriage relevant

Today, my husband and I celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary.

I can say with assurance that we are no longer the same two people who made our vows in front of family and friends 14 years ago. We’ve grown together in so many ways. And looking back over the past 14 years, our relationship has transformed so much.

But it wasn’t always smooth sailing. Marriage is hard work and it doesn’t come with an instruction manual. You have to figure it out as you go along.  It took lots of tolerance, sacrifices, compromises, disappointments, mistakes and forgiveness to get to this point. And for many the aforementioned words might have negative connotations to it.

Yet, these words have a deeper meaning for our marriage and continues to have. Through these, lessons were learned and we gained a clearer perspective. After all that is the promise we made when we said our vows, “to be faithful in good time and in bad times”.

Along with love, trust, respect, acceptance, giving, compassion and communication; it is the essence of a union that continues to grow in strength.

Fourteen years on, we are happily even after the good and the bad.  To us, our marriage is still relevant.

By no means is it perfect and it continues to be a work in progress.  Once married for years, people tend to become blasé about it.  They no longer make it a priority by investing time and energy into their marriage. Feelings for each other start to vanish. They don’t live up to their vows and it no longer becomes a lifetime commitment. And therefore after 30 or 40 years of marriage, couples end up getting divorce. These days marriages don’t even reach the 5 year mark.

Which often questions the relevance of marriage in today’s society. Some see it as outdated and opt to cohabit rather than to enter into a legal commitment.  And once things don’t work out, it’s easier to bail out. And yet, so many people still enter into marriage and still want to get married.

I’m no marriage expert or therapist but I talk about experience. In my personal opinion, I think sometimes couples enter into marriage for the wrong reasons. Perhaps for convenience, due to loneliness, pressure because everyone else is getting married and a mutual business arrangement.

We didn’t enter into marriage for self-gain, greed, status, financial security, control or to possess. I think if we did; one of us would’ve jumped ship long time ago as we would’ve been so unhappy.

And although our marriage is a legal institution; it is also a social, emotional and physical bond whereby we have put God in the centre of it all. We continue to pray with and for each other. Our marriage is about giving of ourselves and bringing the best out in each other. To support each other when we feel at our lowest. Despite our flaws, mistakes and failures, we don’t dwell on the negatives; instead we encourage problem solving.

In conclusion we will continue to honour our marriage and truely love each other with all our being.

 

 


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30 comments on “Happily even after | 14 years of marriage and still relevant”

  1. YES! This is exactly right. We’ve been married 10 years and love continues to grow – the heartaches and challenges of life that you face as a couple make you stronger, if you work hard at including each other and treasuring each other and forgiving each other. Happy Anniversary! #blogcrush

  2. We’ve been married nearly 10 years – I never thought I was too bothered about getting married but when we did it did change things for the better and it was definitely worth it. Agree it is hard work at times though #dreamteam

    • I think both parties need to work hard at it – it can’t just be one-sided. Congrats on almost 10 years – that is a big milestone #dreamteam

  3. Congratulations on your anniversary. 19 years here (26 together). I have no idea why one marriage works and one doesn’t. Around the 15-18 year mark, there seems to be a big decline. I never see it coming, and am always shocked when informed. Hope you are doing something lovely to celebrate.

  4. Lovely to hear a happy story. Congratulations on your 14 years. I said to my husband of 23 years only yesterday “we are lucky, you never really know when you say “I do”” but it is great when the gamble pays off and you have your soul mate. #TwinklyTuesday

    • Thank you. It about love, acceptance, compromise, trust and communication. And often people don’t want to work on these things and therefore marriages end up at the divorce court #TwinklyTuesday

  5. Congratulations on 14 years! You have a good view of what marriage is and what it is not. Hope you and your hubby have many more years together. My hubby and I just celebrated number 40!

  6. What a lovely post. My husband and I are celebrating 10 years of marriage this year. We are by no means perfect but we couldn’t imagine life without each other. We put friendship at the centre of our relationship and everything else slots perfectly in to place. #TriumphantTales

    • I think that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage and obstacles and challenges just make you as a couple stronger. People tend to give up too quickly #globalblogging

  7. Congratulations on your wedding anniversary. My husband and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary last week. And everything you’ve written here is so true. Marriage isn’t about life being smooth sailing. It’s about going through the good and bad times and growing together. #blogcrush Hugs Lucy xxxx

  8. Congratulations on your wedding anniversary! Although we’ve been together 18 years, we’ve only been married 5. I agree with what you say about people marrying for the wrong reasons, the amount of times I’ve heard someone say about not being able to afford to get married – its not about the ceremony/party! Thanks for linking up #twinklytuesday x

    • Thank you and congrats on your 18 years together – and for taking the leap and getting married #twinklytuesday

  9. What a lovely post, it is a testament to your relationship, your love for your husband shines through. You’re right, marriage is hard work and we always need to ensure we work at it! We’re struggling to get a date night in with three kids so we’re feeling the strain, however, a Saturday night movie night has become a new thing which I think is helping ease the lack of date night!Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back tomorrow!

    • Thank you. The same here, we haven’t been on a date night for a while but we try and squeeze in alone time here and there #TriumphantTales

  10. 14 years is such a long time and yes it’s not always perfect (for us either) but I can tell you have a great marriage and that is so evident in this post. Thank you for sharing with #stayclassymama

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