Today, my husband and I celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary.
I can say with assurance that we are no longer the same two people who made our vows in front of family and friends 14 years ago. We’ve grown together in so many ways. And looking back over the past 14 years, our relationship has transformed so much.
But it wasn’t always smooth sailing. Marriage is hard work and it doesn’t come with an instruction manual. You have to figure it out as you go along. It took lots of tolerance, sacrifices, compromises, disappointments, mistakes and forgiveness to get to this point. And for many the aforementioned words might have negative connotations to it.
Yet, these words have a deeper meaning for our marriage and continues to have. Through these, lessons were learned and we gained a clearer perspective. After all that is the promise we made when we said our vows, “to be faithful in good time and in bad times”.
Along with love, trust, respect, acceptance, giving, compassion and communication; it is the essence of a union that continues to grow in strength.
Fourteen years on, we are happily even after the good and the bad. To us, our marriage is still relevant.
By no means is it perfect and it continues to be a work in progress. Once married for years, people tend to become blasé about it. They no longer make it a priority by investing time and energy into their marriage. Feelings for each other start to vanish. They don’t live up to their vows and it no longer becomes a lifetime commitment. And therefore after 30 or 40 years of marriage, couples end up getting divorce. These days marriages don’t even reach the 5 year mark.
Which often questions the relevance of marriage in today’s society. Some see it as outdated and opt to cohabit rather than to enter into a legal commitment. And once things don’t work out, it’s easier to bail out. And yet, so many people still enter into marriage and still want to get married.
I’m no marriage expert or therapist but I talk about experience. In my personal opinion, I think sometimes couples enter into marriage for the wrong reasons. Perhaps for convenience, due to loneliness, pressure because everyone else is getting married and a mutual business arrangement.
We didn’t enter into marriage for self-gain, greed, status, financial security, control or to possess. I think if we did; one of us would’ve jumped ship long time ago as we would’ve been so unhappy.
And although our marriage is a legal institution; it is also a social, emotional and physical bond whereby we have put God in the centre of it all. We continue to pray with and for each other. Our marriage is about giving of ourselves and bringing the best out in each other. To support each other when we feel at our lowest. Despite our flaws, mistakes and failures, we don’t dwell on the negatives; instead we encourage problem solving.
In conclusion we will continue to honour our marriage and truely love each other with all our being.