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The ripple effect of grief

ripple effect of grief

It has been eleven weeks since my father passed away. The phone calls and messages have stopped. No more flowers, cards and visits.  In fact, life has returned to normal as if nothing happened. However, my father’s death did happen which caused a ripple effect of grief.

Life as I’ve known it before 6 April 2019 will never be the same again.  Removing one person from a family unit which has always been a supportive structure; changes the entire dynamics. Although our family structure is not falling apart; the foundation has slight cracks. Perhaps those who don’t have that kind of unit won’t understand. (more…)


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10 Affordable and Thoughtful Christmas Gift Ideas

10 Affordable Thoughtful Christmas Gift Ideas

There are some of us who can afford to purchase expensive gifts for our loved ones and friends; and then there are others who simply can’t afford to splurge. Christmas is a time for giving but not at the expense of getting yourself into debt and being cash strapped come January.  Let’s face it this year has been tough on consumers.  But hey, don’t allow the economy to be the Grinch who spoils your Christmas. Giving doesn’t have to be extravagant and cost a fortune.  However do put some thought into your gift giving. Allow me to share 10 Affordable and Thoughtful Christmas Gift Ideas that won’t break your budget. (more…)


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My most disfavored small talk question

disfavored small talk question

You know that awkward feeling when you meet someone for the first time. That feeling when you suddenly need to step out of your shell and fill the air with some chitchat. Now here’s the thing, making small talk to cut through the stiff atmosphere is common. We all do it – right. Ok perhaps not all, unless you hide in a corner to avoid people entirely – but most of us do. So here is what really gets my goat; when someone start a conversation and immediately revert to my least favourite question.

And that question is “What do you do?”

Somehow that is the first default question that tends to pop out of people’s mouths. To me it is an immediate conversation killer and it is not a question I find welcoming.

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Anxiety is Contagious in a Shitty Environment without a Village: Safety-focused parenting and communities

anxiety contagious shitty environment village safety-focused parenting communities

Unless you live under a rock, you should know that we are confronted with daily news headlines of horrific acts against children in South Africa. Alarming statistics shows that children are often the victims of horrendous crimes. The latest making headlines are a spate of child abductions and attempted abductions. With at least 13 confirmed cases reported so far.

The thing is we don’t want to be paranoid parents and let’s be realistic, we can’t protect our children and keep a watchful eye over them 24/7. These kinds of headlines make us worry. It makes us anxious and anxiety is contagious when our children are in danger. We suspect anyone who just glances at our children.

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Attitude Gratitude – August Journal

Attitude Gratitude August Journal

Yikes we at the end of August and will be welcoming the ninth month of the year tomorrow. I’m quite looking forward to September and what it holds in store for me. Although Winter is my favorite month, probably because I was born in June and is classified as a Winter baby. But the thing is I’ve grown tired of Winter now. I’m ready to welcome Spring and and have slightly warmer days. To wear lighter clothing, flip flops and having socials in the backyard.

In saying that I’m eternally grateful for what Winter brought. With it came much needed rain which filled up our dams to over 60%.

Here is a summary of what I was grateful for in August. (more…)


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DEATH, The unpleasant subject and dealing with grief

Death unpleasant subject dealing grief

A peaceful death, an unexpected death, a tragic death – no matter how it occurs – dealing with the death of a loved one or friend remains extremely difficult. Guaranteed and unavoidable; yet it’s a subject that will also be unpleasant. It’s unpleasant because we fear the unknown.  And when we fear something it makes us uncomfortable and anxious.

This past week has been rough. With the death of six people I know within days from each other. Death made its appearance like a thief in the night in the middle of June.

All six (family, friends and acquaintances) who passed were frail, weak and had sick beds.  They too feared death at some point in their lives but I believe in my heart that they were at peace with the fact that their final hour was close by.  Some were able to converse and say what should happen when they die. And yes we as the surviving family and friends knew it was just a matter of time; we knew that death would release them from their suffering. During this time the family made to-do lists, updated necessary documentation and started making the necessary preparations should anything happen.  They waited in anticipation. But ironically; the day when death came knocking we all remained physically and mentally unprepared.

This beckons the question. How do we as the surviving family and friends deal with death and grief.

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Hands-off my butt! {The uninvited and unwanted butt slap}

handsoff butt uninvited unwanted butt slap

I’m only writing about this now as it took me some time to get over the initial shock of what transpired.

A few Saturdays ago we were doing the park run. My husband and youngest daughter did the run and my eldest daughter and I brisked walked.

Not thinking of much, my daughter and I were conversing in general and admiring the dogs on the trail. By this time my husband and youngest daughter were long gone with the runners.

Three-and-a-half kilometers into our walk a guy slapped me on my butt and ran off. Shocked out of my core and so was my daughter.

I let rip and blurted out a couple of swear words.

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Well wishes for my kids as they start the new school year

well wishes kids start new school year

As the new school year dawns upon us, these are my back to school wishes for my kids

With my daughters being on vacation for over 6 weeks as their school closed the end of November; I must say it is high time that the 2018 academic year commences.  Yip I am one of those moms who are super happy that school is starting.

My kids are older so it is not as if they are starting school for the first time. Gone are the days of having mixed emotions and teary eyes.

I literally have been counting the days from New Year ’s Day. So roll on Wednesday.

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One day, when I’m gone: The importance of drafting a last will and testament to protect your family

 

one day im gone importance drafting last testament protect family

Drafting a last will and testament should be a priority.

A couple of days into 2018 and you’ve probably made your new year’s resolutions. You have set your goals and reevaluated what you want to change in your life. Whether you will accomplish it or not, it is all up to you. But thinking of your new year’s goals,have you prioritised planning for the day when you will die by drafting your last will and testament.

Is this a priority for 2018?

There is never a convenient time to think of what will happen the day when you leave this earth.  It is a grim subject and drafting this document is not a very pleasant exercise.

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