Relationships

The ripple effect of grief

ripple effect of grief

It has been eleven weeks since my father passed away. The phone calls and messages have stopped. No more flowers, cards and visits.  In fact, life has returned to normal as if nothing happened. However, my father’s death did happen which caused a ripple effect of grief.

Life as I’ve known it before 6 April 2019 will never be the same again.  Removing one person from a family unit which has always been a supportive structure; changes the entire dynamics. Although our family structure is not falling apart; the foundation has slight cracks. Perhaps those who don’t have that kind of unit won’t understand. (more…)


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My father’s life encapsulated – A Heartfelt Eulogy

fathers life encapsulated heartfelt eulogy

How do you completely capture 71 years of someone’s life in a Eulogy? When I think of my dad and want to encapsulate his life in one word; then “humble” comes to mind.

On 6 April 2019, my dad passed away. His death was sudden and it caught us off guard. And I know that  death is part of life – it is guaranteed and unavoidable; yet for those left behind it is something that you remain physically and mentally unprepared for.

Writing his eulogy was heart wrenching as I couldn’t get myself to refer to him in the past tense. And as much as it was an honour and privilege to deliver his eulogy; it was at the same time extremely difficult for me to utter those words.

I was approached by many to share what I said at my dad’s funeral in a blog post. Apprehensive at first to write it down as this was something that was private and only shared with friends and family. But then it hit me – that my dad’s life was a gift to us. He was an amazing husband, father and grandfather and that his life story should be celebrated and shared with others.

I am still going through the grieving process and some days are easier than others. I have my moments when I just let out. It is a process that will take time and everyone handles it differently. You will never truly understand grief until you lose someone very close to you.  However, typing this post brought a sense of calm over me.

Herewith I’m sharing this eulogy with you in remembrance of my dad. For privacy reasons, I have omitted the personal information from this version. (more…)


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Birthday wish to the most incredible husband

Birthday wish incredible husband

Brent,

I know how you feel about celebrating your birthday. You don’t like the fuss and people gushing over you. According to you it is just another day in your life with an added digit.

I won’t reveal your age – and you are right it is just a number but damn I have to say you are ageing well.

But today, I want you to know that it is indeed a special day. It is not about the gifts we got you or the celebration we planned. What makes this day special is that it commemorates the beginning of your life and your existence in the world.  Your existence has a meaningful purpose in my life, our children and so many other people’s lives. (more…)


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A message to the unapologetic narcissist

message unapologetic narcissist

I spot you everywhere. In the workplace, church, parent groups, in the company of friends and family. Some people cannot handle you. They try to avoid you like the plague.  Perhaps you are not aware of this or that you are a narcissist.  Do you even know what it means?

Let me enlighten you.

You are that person who thinks you are superior and see no one as your equal. Compared to others, you view yourself differently – more important.  Similarly, your ego, status and titles are everything to you. You strive for perfection and constantly boast about yourself and what you possess.

In the beginning you are very charming and persuasive, putting up a facade to lure people into your space. Once you have gained their trust, you become domineering. Making it difficult for them to distance themselves from you.

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Lunching with good friends at the Yard in the Silo District

lunching good friends yard silo district

It’s been a while since I caught up with my girlfriends. Well more than a year to be exact. The weirdest thing is we all live in and around Cape Town. You see we all have busy schedules that is overflowing with work, kids, households etc. So, setting time aside for a meetup with friends is not always easy.

And I get it, hence what I wrote in my previous blog post about finding balance.

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Date Night: Couples Massage at MyMassage

date night couples massage mymassage

Life has been a little crazy of late and my husband and I kept on putting time for ourselves on the back burner. Although we had the odd hour or two of alone time; a proper date night was long overdue. With so much tension in our muscles, the complimentary offer from MyMassage came just at the right time. So we ditched the usual dinner and movie date and opted for a couples massage.

This was our first couples massage and Brent was very open to the idea. More so, that he was in desperate need to de-stress. Also trying new things as a couple is a good thing and much needed for our relationship.

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Liar, liar, pants on fire! Why children tell lies

liar liar pants fire children tell lies

Let’s face it we all tell little white lies now and then. Whether it is to protect our children or not to harm someone else’s feelings – we do it.

But what happens if the lies are constant … more like compulsive lying.

Even worse what if it’s a child that is constantly lying about everything and anything. You would assume that children are naturally truthful. Well so you would think, turns out it is not the case.

Today my daughter came home from school pretty devastated. She and her friends are at wits end with one particular friend’s lies.

So when your child comes home and vents her anger and frustration about the current situation – you listen.

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Outnumbered by three females: A thank-you message to my husband ahead of Father’s Day

outnumbered three females thankyou message husband fathers day

“Shuffle the deck and deal the cards.”  “Come on girls; stop peeping at each other’s cards!”   This I overheard from the other room as you were trying to explain to our girls how to play rummy. They were so excited as you taught them this new skill. With it came so much laughter, questions and the obvious complaints of the one trying to peep at the other ones hand.

Moments like these, make my heart melt.

I’m not going to get all soppy and I know that you are very modest but I want to give credit where credit is due.

I knew you were going to be an amazing dad even before our children were born. I have fond memories of how overprotective you were over my pregnant belly. Upon finding out the gender, you were so content.  Not once did you say “I wish we are expecting a boy”.

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Happy Birthday, Mother Dearest

happy birthday mother dearest

Today is your birthday. I feel truly honoured to wish you on this very special day.

Born under the astrological sign, Taurus of which the zodiac symbol is the bull, it clearly defines your personality.  A strong and resilient woman who continues to soldier on to overcome so many obstacles in your life. You stand firm in your believes and values and has taught this to us in word and deed.

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Confession of a Backseat Driver: Time to take control and curb this bad habit

confession backseat driver time take control curb bad habit

I have a confession to make and it wasn’t easy for me to admit this. I am a backseat driver.

Are you shocked by my revelation?  Sorry if I disappointed you but it is what it is.

Yip, I’m that annoying passenger.

And, let me just say, I guess I’ve earned this stereotypical name “backseat driver”.  Although I find myself mostly in the front passengers seat and not at the back; my reaction and behaviour is the same.

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