handsoff butt uninvited unwanted butt slap

I’m only writing about this now as it took me some time to get over the initial shock of what transpired.

A few Saturdays ago we were doing the park run. My husband and youngest daughter did the run and my eldest daughter and I brisked walked.

Not thinking of much, my daughter and I were conversing in general and admiring the dogs on the trail. By this time my husband and youngest daughter were long gone with the runners.

Three-and-a-half kilometers into our walk a guy slapped me on my butt and ran off. Shocked out of my core and so was my daughter.

I let rip and blurted out a couple of swear words.

“What the f$%%”

“You damn b%$%^”

But he blatantly ignored me and was so fast that I couldn’t catch up with him. The whole incident happened in a flash and I didn’t even get a glimpse of his face. All I remember is that he wore a gray top and blue running shorts, was fair of complexion and medium built. My daughter who witnessed the act, also did not see his face as he came from behind us.

No one else saw what happened. Perhaps someone did but didn’t want to get involved.

Of course stared at by fellow runners and walkers. Probably thinking to themselves – who is this lunatic that is ranting and raving.

Disturbed, mortified and shaken by the incident. I felt dirty, invaded and powerless.  Did this really just happen to me?

Walking as fast as we could, we looked around to see if we could recognize him.   At that moment we just wanted to finish this walk and get to my husband and youngest daughter.

Eventually meeting up with them, I told my husband what happened.  Immediately he wanted to know what the guy looked like and told me to report the incident to the park run organisers as well as the ADT security guard who was on duty.

Which I did.

There was nothing much they could do about the incident. And  there was no way this creep was still around. Even if he was, we couldn’t identify him as we didn’t see his face.  There were like hundreds of male park runners that Saturday, with a few fitting the body built description and dressed in the exact colours like the creep.

So I let it go.

After redeeming myself and being in a calm state, I apologized to my daughter for using harsh words and acting out. Telling both of them that if something like this ever happened to them or any form of harassment, they should report it immediately.

However in South Africa although the Harassment Act allows the victim to get a protection order from the court in an event of sexual harassment, the sad thing is that this does not protect you from once off incidences, wolf whistling, sexual remarks by strangers who you will probably never see again.

This incident has sparked a red flag for my daughter.  These days when we do the park run or just go for a walk, she is much more aware of her surroundings. I want my daughters to be cautious and safe yet fearless.

This was not an accident. It was a deliberate slap on the butt that was uninvited and unwanted.

So, to the creep who slapped me on the butt that Saturday – you might have gotten away with it this time, or even a couple of times for that matter but there will be a day when you will not be so lucky.

Did this ever happen to you? Please share your experience in the comment box.

 


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25 comments on “Hands-off my butt! {The uninvited and unwanted butt slap}”

  1. Wow. That’s so weird. And why would anyone do that, other than to get a reaction from you (cos it’s not like they get any gratification from it). What a dickhead. #Stayclassymama

    • Because they think they have the power violate someone like that. Plus I’m probably not the first person he did it to – there are probably so many others but this actions will catch up with him one day #stayclassymama

  2. Wow. I don’t know what I would have done is that scenario. Glad your daughter got to see you taking action after a negative situation. I think you did exactly what needed doing. But I am also sorry to hear you had to experience this at all.Jess#StayClassyMama

    • Thanks for your empathy. I was surprised at my reactions after coming to my sensors. I know of some women who just go numb and can’t get a word out to actually react. As this happened to them on the train, in an elevator and so many other places. This is something that no one should endure and although I’m over it now – this experience has been be more mindful about jogging or walking alone #stayclassymama

    • Yes it is obvious that he has done this before and feel no shame. But I believe that one day he will do it again to someone else and will be caught out eventually #blogcrush

    • Thanks Jeanette – yes I’m over it now but more cautious when we go for a walk or run. My daughter is more aware of stranger-danger now as she witnessed it #globalblogging

  3. This was definitely a serious incident. I had a funnier one happen to me during a trail run last weekend. The man behind me said “Nice butt”, then passed me. I was going to give him apiece of my mind, then stopped and laughed. He was saying “Nice BUFF”. We were both wearing a buff that was given out at a previous race!

    • Yes mine was indeed serious and more invasive. Luckily you realised in time what he was referring to. LOL.

  4. Urgh, that’s horrible behaviour. I can’t imagine what makes people think they have the right to do things like that. Actually, reading this made me remember something I’d totally forgotten about – I got a boob grabbed on my way to college one day (must have been 17) and it happened so quickly I half wondered if I’d imagined it. At the time, being basically a child, I just kept walking, feeling a bit baffled. I’d like to think at the grand old age of 40, I’d have punched his lights out! May our kids grow up in a world where this nonsense doesn’t happen any more! #itsok

    • So sorry that this happened to you when you were 17 even though it has been many years – it was still degrading. The fact that they think they have the power to do it makes me so angry. Nothing is being done to protect us from street sexual harrassment, whistle blowing and tasteless comments. I’ve told my girls to be more aware and to kick up a hell of a racket if something like that ever happened to them #itsok.

    • He had no shame – just glad that he didn’t do it to my daughter. Just the fact that he ignored me showed that it wasn’t an accident and that it is not the first time he is doing it to someone #itsok.

    • Well at first we were a bit apprehensive and very cautious but I’ve told her that we shouldn’t let that incident prevent us from doing what we love and that is to walk in the outdoors. So we still do the park run and take the dogs for a walk on the walking trail. #stayclassymama

    • Apparently it happens on the tube, trains and buses a lot. I think the actual shock numbs you but in my case I don’t know what came over me but I was just ranting.

  5. That’s terrible! I remember in my youth something very similar to this happened to me and I too was quite shocked but I was not mature enough to even make sense of it at the time i reckon. Thank you for sharing with #stayclassymama

    • Thanks Pat, it was a shocker to me too as it is the first time something like this happened to me. Some say that it was sad that my daughter witnessed it but in essence I’m actually glad she did which made her aware that these things actually happen. It also taught her to be more aware of her surroundings #stayclassymama

  6. Oh how horrible for you! How can he possibly think it is okay to do something like that?? At least it has made your daughter aware and shown her that that sort of thing is not acceptable and that she has a right to say no to any advancement that is not invited or wanted. I hope you are okay – it must’ve shaken you all up. #blogcrush

    • Thanks Tracey – I’m ok now. I think I’m over the initial shock but yes some people think it’s ok to do these kind of acts and get away with it. They think they have the power to do it. But hopefully one day he will be caught out #fortheloveofblog

  7. OOhhh my word! I’m so cross on your behalf. That’s really horrid. I don’t think people realise how offensive it is, until it’s been done to them. What a toad!!! It makes me so cross that men think its acceptable to cross those boundaries uninvited. You did the right thing reporting! Thanks for joining us for the #dreamteam xx

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